Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
