youre lurking in front of me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
