Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
