Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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