I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
