he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
