Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize