google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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