Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
