Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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