you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize