My liver just broke up with me...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
is that a dick in a sweater?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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