why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize