belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
