problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
