oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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