In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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