it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
