i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
