my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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