Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
