Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
