watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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