Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And then my night got REAL pukey
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
