coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
