Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize