Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
