oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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