If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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