Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
