Someone shit on the floor
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You made out with two different species that night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
