I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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