I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
