i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
