I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
