I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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