Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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