it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
