she looked like the before picture.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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