once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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