i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
