Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize