Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
