in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
