Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
