Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
