i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
