I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize