if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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