I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
