we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
