i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
