you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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