I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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