So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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