There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
