She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
