Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Green mimosas i think yes
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
